Whether or not you want to admit it, we are all Creepers. It’s something we’ve all done from time to time. You know, like that time you were in the library, trying to read your National Geographic, but you found yourself giggling at Jane Doe’s intense emotional break-down two cubicles away. Don’t lie to yourself, I bet not only did you find it hysterical, you also backtracked her Facebook page for “further research”, didn’t you?
Ok, maybe that’s just me. Unhealthy or not, I am proud to say I am a Creeper, and you should be too. Creeping really isn’t that bad. Once you get over the slanderous title, you realize something: whenever someone says “Creeper” they’re just really jealous of your observation skills. Plus, not only is Creeping harmless, it’s entertaining and beneficial. Let me explain.
Nowadays, there are a variety of sources of entertainment which surround us, but Creeping is the most essential entertainment source of them all. In fact, one entertaining method of Creeping is eavesdropping, which is cheap, mobile and user friendly. Eavesdropping does not require any money to be spent because all one needs to eavesdrop is one’s ears. From there, as long as your ears are present, the process of eavesdropping can be initiated by simply listening intently to whatever captivates you while awkwardly loitering. Take for example, commuting with public transit. The common person who spends their time travelling long distances via public transit is often seen with an iPod. Though this is a great device for entertainment, eavesdropping is of a higher calibre of entertainment. iPods are costly, running from $54.95 to $398.99, whereas eavesdropping is free. Though iPods are mobile, the more you carry them around is the greater risk you have of losing it or having it stolen. In comparison, no matter how hard you try to misplace your eavesdropping skills, they will always be with you, unless you lose your hearing, which I’d assume would be from listening to your iPod too loudly. If that were the case, you are at a great loss because not only can you not hear your iPod, which you wasted money on, you cannot eavesdrop either. Finally, everyone knows how frustrating setting up and learning to use an iPod is. On the other hand, to eavesdrop, no prior skill or practise is needed, thus allowing one to eavesdrop flawlessly upon one’s first try. It’s so simple, even caveman could do it.
In addition to entertainment, Creeping is also very beneficial. Aside from eavesdropping, another Creeper technique which yields benefit is lurking. Lurking is a skill which is slowly made better from practise and is typically done via the internet, most commonly on Facebook and other social networks. Lurking is beneficial because it provides one with the satisfaction of exploration and discovery. Lurking is what these organizations thrive on, so why not exploit it to its fullest? It’s just as simple and harmless as eavesdropping. To begin the process, you choose someone you’d like to lurk. From there, you dedicate time to inconspicuously browsing, studying or tracing their profile, fan pages, applications, events, groups, etcetera. The more one lurks, the more stealthy and efficient one becomes at lurking. Lurking is beneficial because it sharpens one’s exploration skills, seeing that one must strategize systems as to how one will go about attaining the knowledge that one seeks. In the end, one is then pleased by their discovery due to the vast amount of information they were able to gather from such hard work. Though the common 21st century geek who is constantly in search of knowledge would probably tell you to use Wikipedia as a means of filling your data void, Wikipedia is not as beneficial as lurking social networks. Lurking Wikipedia is a different type of exploration, where one discovers information on boring topics such as the gender of the Magnolia plant, which may be edited by any person who views the webpage. Lurking Facebook allows one to find information on people one sees on a regular basis which can go towards, for instance, starting conversations. Furthermore, all information under covered is 100% true because it was more than likely typed by the person of research, unless they were hacked.
For those who don’t agree, I know what you’re thinking: you’re thinking, who is proud about being a Creeper? I understand that nowadays, many would not openly accept such a title due to many of the stereotypes which entrench our world. After doing a little research myself, I found that many stereotypes given to Creepers include:
1. All Creepers are the result of over-exposure to the internet.
2. All Creepers are socially inept, handicapped, lacking, confused, frustrated, and awkward.
3. All Creepers will, at some point in their life, appear a nation’s Most Wanted list.
Though all stereotypes are supported strongly, all claims are false for they are only true for majority of Creepers, not all. In all fairness, some Creepers are remotely normal. In addition, many may ask why would one need to eavesdrop? Why not invest in some form of technology which can keep one entertained without invading other’s privacy? Why spend hours on Facebook, if you want to explore or discover, why not use Google? The truth of the matter is, it’s not invasion of personal space if it’s in the public. If you don’t want you information to be used against you, don’t leave it out in the open. And who really believes in investments anymore? We are in a recession, and I don’t know about others, but I don’t have the kind of money for investments in technology. I work $9.75 an hour, and to shell out $229.39 for an unreliable Blackberry, today’s most extravagant and overrated instrument of entertainment, is ridiculous. Blackberries and most technology can’t even withstand water, which composes about 70% of our earth and daily activity. In fact, unless broken upon tampering with the packaging, I’m not even guaranteed money back if it so much as malfunctions from doing the hundreds of tasks it was made to do. With eavesdropping, not only is it cheap, it’s foolproof and waterproof. Also, using Google is dangerous. Seriously, I’m sure you know of all the useless and unfortunate things your eyes will see if you so much as type in the wrong word in the search bar. Facebook, on the other hand, is a monitored environment, for the most part.
It’s like I said earlier, no matter how hard you try, you can’t escape the fact that we are all Creepers. There are many reasons why one does, but the two I advocate are entertainment and benefit. I’ll admit, though it is a peculiar habit, let me ask you this: name one time you didn’t mind you own business and walked away feeling like you should’ve?
Dec 27, 2009
Dec 20, 2009
Dec 18, 2009
Girl You Stank, Take a Bath.
I've always heard that there is a first time for everything. This would be my first and last time "eating the box".
I was at this HUGE party that RichKid threw for the graduates of my high school and it was going pretty good - drinks with the buddies, relaxing with my girl, and just having a good time overall. A little before the party reached its climax, my girl and I finally got some alone time, which I was stoked on because she had been tugging at my zipper and whispering what she wanted to do to me in my ear for the past hour. I had never had a real sexual experience since elementary school (a french kiss in Truth or Dare still counts, right?), therefore such simple whims made having a girlfriend enthralling, I thought at the time.
Being a male, this motivated me to find a nice secluded and remote spot so I could put my money where her mouth is. The problem was that all rooms in his house were off-limits and were barricaded by furniture. To make matters worse, each bathroom was FILLED with vomiting rookies and broads that had to do make-up / take mirror-shots for their lame Facebook albums.
Desperation settled in, so I was left with one option: breaking into a room. Like a madman, I proceeded to rearrange furniture in order to gain access to a room for us to do our deeds. Lo and behold, it was RichKid's room. For a split second, I wanted to renege, as a clusterfuck of conflicting thoughts raced through my mind:
- Is this really worth it?
Yes. Completely.
- On a scale of one to douchebag, how big of a douchebag move is this?
Douche-and-a-half.
- What's the worst that could happen?
God-willingly, I get some pussy finally.
- How would RichKid feel about me being in his bed with my girl?
Who gives a shit, it's not like we're friends anyway.
It was settled -- my time has cum. I mean, come.
I double-take the corridor we're in and dip into the room, dragging Girlfriend in with me. It's dark as hell and we're both hammered, so we split up to accomplish separate tasks: she shut the door and I prepared the love-making space.
We stripped down to our essentials and got right into it. She was on top of me, and wanted to start with the fundamentals: oral.
She started... and I had to stop her about two minutes in. Not only did it feel like I was getting head from a chick with Cerebral palsy, I was slowly getting limp as a noodle. And every time she mumbled "Am I doing it ok?" with my meat in her mouth made me want to shed tears.
Just fucking great.
When I thought the unfortunate was over, it just got worse. It was my turn to go down on her, and I had about 10 seconds to figure out how to go about the chore. Trying to be optimistic, I thought it wouldn't be that bad. She's just my girlfriend, of two months mind you, and it was our first time TOGETHER. How bad/awkward/painful could it get?
Well, it got pretty bad/awkward/painful/etc. As I'm about to do the Moses (you know, part the seas and navigate the ocean), I got a HUGE waft of her vag. It smelt like... like... fuck, I can't even describe it, but it made my eyes water and triggered my gag reflex. I've never smelt one before, but I got the faint feeling that smell was a bad smell. But whatever, I thought love really meant something at this point in my life, so I thought I'd be a good boyfriend by gritting my teeth (not literally) and baring this pain.
Essentially, I crammed my face between her legs and began to l-l-l-l-lick it like a lollipop. After the second lick, I felt more like a victim than I did like a boyfriend. It was nasty as fuck down there! Not only had her vag stank, she didn't shave either. To top things off, her clit was so big I could've given it an Eskimo Kiss.
Just as I began to seek an exit strategy, one of the bouncers hired for the party checked up on the room. Thank God. After that two minute endeavor, which felt more like an eternity, I dismounted from Girlfriend, got my necessary clothing on, grabbed the rest and left the room as quickly as possible (thanking and apologizing to Bouncer profusely as I left), leaving Girlfriend to figure her own shit out.
Later on in the night, I ran into her. Both of us feeling slightly uneasy by the situation, we tried to talk it out. And by talk it out, I sorta listened to her plea.
Girlfriend: "Baby, I'm sorry about what happened. I know my performance might not have been the best, but I hope that you can see past what occurred."
Me: "...."
Girlfriend: "And as for my, um, 'area', well... I wasn't sure what to do with it. And after tonight's Hockey tournament, I had no time to shower."
Me: "...!?!"
That's right. Not only did she not shave, she let me eat her out after a long, sweaty, and sticky Hockey tournament.
Me: "What the fuck type of sick and twisted episode of 'Punk'd' is this?"
Girlfriend: "Baby, I love you. I hope this won't disturb our relationship."
I know what you're thinking. You're wondering what we did for the rest of the night after such a weird encounter, if I dumped her, and if I ever lost my virginity. Well...
1. We cuddled and dry-humped for the rest of the night in some lonely corner. Cute? No. Weak shit? Yes.
2. We stayed together for a month more. Yeah, took me a whole month before I learned that love in high school is non-existent.
3. No. It's still #1 on my bucket-list.
Oh, and lastly -- it's going to be a while before I dare to part the seas and navigate the ocean EVER again.
- TroubledChild
I was at this HUGE party that RichKid threw for the graduates of my high school and it was going pretty good - drinks with the buddies, relaxing with my girl, and just having a good time overall. A little before the party reached its climax, my girl and I finally got some alone time, which I was stoked on because she had been tugging at my zipper and whispering what she wanted to do to me in my ear for the past hour. I had never had a real sexual experience since elementary school (a french kiss in Truth or Dare still counts, right?), therefore such simple whims made having a girlfriend enthralling, I thought at the time.
Being a male, this motivated me to find a nice secluded and remote spot so I could put my money where her mouth is. The problem was that all rooms in his house were off-limits and were barricaded by furniture. To make matters worse, each bathroom was FILLED with vomiting rookies and broads that had to do make-up / take mirror-shots for their lame Facebook albums.
Desperation settled in, so I was left with one option: breaking into a room. Like a madman, I proceeded to rearrange furniture in order to gain access to a room for us to do our deeds. Lo and behold, it was RichKid's room. For a split second, I wanted to renege, as a clusterfuck of conflicting thoughts raced through my mind:
- Is this really worth it?
Yes. Completely.
- On a scale of one to douchebag, how big of a douchebag move is this?
Douche-and-a-half.
- What's the worst that could happen?
God-willingly, I get some pussy finally.
- How would RichKid feel about me being in his bed with my girl?
Who gives a shit, it's not like we're friends anyway.
It was settled -- my time has cum. I mean, come.
I double-take the corridor we're in and dip into the room, dragging Girlfriend in with me. It's dark as hell and we're both hammered, so we split up to accomplish separate tasks: she shut the door and I prepared the love-making space.
We stripped down to our essentials and got right into it. She was on top of me, and wanted to start with the fundamentals: oral.
She started... and I had to stop her about two minutes in. Not only did it feel like I was getting head from a chick with Cerebral palsy, I was slowly getting limp as a noodle. And every time she mumbled "Am I doing it ok?" with my meat in her mouth made me want to shed tears.
Just fucking great.
When I thought the unfortunate was over, it just got worse. It was my turn to go down on her, and I had about 10 seconds to figure out how to go about the chore. Trying to be optimistic, I thought it wouldn't be that bad. She's just my girlfriend, of two months mind you, and it was our first time TOGETHER. How bad/awkward/painful could it get?
Well, it got pretty bad/awkward/painful/etc. As I'm about to do the Moses (you know, part the seas and navigate the ocean), I got a HUGE waft of her vag. It smelt like... like... fuck, I can't even describe it, but it made my eyes water and triggered my gag reflex. I've never smelt one before, but I got the faint feeling that smell was a bad smell. But whatever, I thought love really meant something at this point in my life, so I thought I'd be a good boyfriend by gritting my teeth (not literally) and baring this pain.
Essentially, I crammed my face between her legs and began to l-l-l-l-lick it like a lollipop. After the second lick, I felt more like a victim than I did like a boyfriend. It was nasty as fuck down there! Not only had her vag stank, she didn't shave either. To top things off, her clit was so big I could've given it an Eskimo Kiss.
Just as I began to seek an exit strategy, one of the bouncers hired for the party checked up on the room. Thank God. After that two minute endeavor, which felt more like an eternity, I dismounted from Girlfriend, got my necessary clothing on, grabbed the rest and left the room as quickly as possible (thanking and apologizing to Bouncer profusely as I left), leaving Girlfriend to figure her own shit out.
Later on in the night, I ran into her. Both of us feeling slightly uneasy by the situation, we tried to talk it out. And by talk it out, I sorta listened to her plea.
Girlfriend: "Baby, I'm sorry about what happened. I know my performance might not have been the best, but I hope that you can see past what occurred."
Me: "...."
Girlfriend: "And as for my, um, 'area', well... I wasn't sure what to do with it. And after tonight's Hockey tournament, I had no time to shower."
Me: "...!?!"
That's right. Not only did she not shave, she let me eat her out after a long, sweaty, and sticky Hockey tournament.
Me: "What the fuck type of sick and twisted episode of 'Punk'd' is this?"
Girlfriend: "Baby, I love you. I hope this won't disturb our relationship."
I know what you're thinking. You're wondering what we did for the rest of the night after such a weird encounter, if I dumped her, and if I ever lost my virginity. Well...
1. We cuddled and dry-humped for the rest of the night in some lonely corner. Cute? No. Weak shit? Yes.
2. We stayed together for a month more. Yeah, took me a whole month before I learned that love in high school is non-existent.
3. No. It's still #1 on my bucket-list.
Oh, and lastly -- it's going to be a while before I dare to part the seas and navigate the ocean EVER again.
- TroubledChild
The Introduction: Sum Blog WHO Made?
I bet you're sitting there right now, thinking to yourself like, "WTF is this thing? Sum blog who made?", as you aimlessly stare at our pitiful excuse of a blog.
Well this, this isn't just any pitiful excuse of a blog, this is sum blog we made. We being a bundle of bawdy, bored, on-the-brink bloggers. Alright, not really bloggers, but we're working on an image.
Anyway, this blog is more than just a webpage. It's a cornerstone; a retreat; and more imporantly, a testament to the legacy of a group of beings who can be described as everything from desolate and mundane, to cutting-edge and progressive.
Whether it be poems, thoughts, essays, rants, memoirs, interviews, and much more, we have them all recorded here for the world to witness them in their no-holds-barred, unadulterated glory.
Some entries may be raunchy, some entries may be philosophical, and some might be downright awful, but we'll be blunt -- if it's worth the read, you'll find it here.
But yeah, that's about it. This is just sum blog we made as a means of killing time and sharing in the common and uncommon muses of many.
Heh, I guess that's our image.
Well this, this isn't just any pitiful excuse of a blog, this is sum blog we made. We being a bundle of bawdy, bored, on-the-brink bloggers. Alright, not really bloggers, but we're working on an image.
Anyway, this blog is more than just a webpage. It's a cornerstone; a retreat; and more imporantly, a testament to the legacy of a group of beings who can be described as everything from desolate and mundane, to cutting-edge and progressive.
Whether it be poems, thoughts, essays, rants, memoirs, interviews, and much more, we have them all recorded here for the world to witness them in their no-holds-barred, unadulterated glory.
Some entries may be raunchy, some entries may be philosophical, and some might be downright awful, but we'll be blunt -- if it's worth the read, you'll find it here.
But yeah, that's about it. This is just sum blog we made as a means of killing time and sharing in the common and uncommon muses of many.
Heh, I guess that's our image.
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